5 lessons on business, I learned from grief.
Updated: Jan 25
For the duration of my entrepreneurial journey, I have said that I am driven by my daughter, Leyden. That I want to shine her light and impact as many people as possible, to honor her. But only recently did I realize that so much of what has made me successful at running and scaling businesses (humbled to have just built my 5th 6 or 7 figure business), comes from lessons that I have learned from my journey with grief.
I hope that these serve you, without you needing to go through a painful grief journey,
to learn them. And if you are in one or have navigated one, please know that my heart is with you and I am always holding space for your healing and growth through it.
1- The calendar doesn’t matter. Grief, and business, don’t care if it’s the holidays, your birthday or a new year. They will demand your attention, regardless of any societal-created “holidays”. I am not saying that you CAN’T enjoy the holidays. I am just saying that we get to release the Pressures, comparisons or potentially, traditions, that we can sometimes grip onto, in order to truly honor the growth of ourselves and our businesses, regardless of the season. Let it be ok. Trust that every year looks a little bit different and each one can be sacred, whether you are curled in a ball taking space for you, typing away on the computer for your business,or out celebrating. They are all beautiful.
2-Predictability is an Illusion.
Sh*t can (and will) flare up. At times we can’t predict. Magic will also present at times we can’t predict, too. So release trying to control, know or predict. Don’t be surprised when
suddenly plans or what you thought it “should” be like, shifts. Allow. Surrender.
Instead of trying to swim against the tide of your journey, flow with it.
3- Teammates do Matter No one can play every role/position for your Team of grief and healing, or for your business…. But everyone can play a role. So set yourself, and the people around you, up to win. Get really clear on what people can or cannot provide and don’t expect someone to be able to generate something that is outside of their emotional capacity or tangible skillset. Think of yourself as the coach, and you get to call in different people, at different times, to execute exactly what needs to be executed. I did a whole podcast episode on this, which you can listen to, here.
No one else is going to build your business for you.
No one else is going to grieve, heal and grow, for you.
Grief, and entrepreneurship, both teach you an entirely new level of taking radical responsibility and ownership for how things do (or do not) grow. I couldn’t expect everyone to hide their children after I lost mine- rather I got to learn how to manage my own triggers. I also couldn’t expect anyone else to keep my businesses running, particularly in the beginning, without me being fully attentive to all the feedback, needs and opportunities, for them.
5- F*ck a Stopwatch
No one gets to count your hours, scrutinize your schedule or tell you how it should, or shouldn’t be. The idea of a business fitting within antiquated 9-5 hours 5 days a week is not the reality of the way the world works, now. The concept of a “finish line” to grief after a year is a toxic myth that only breeds shame, guilt and pressure. Do what you need to do, in your way, in your time and boundary the heck out of anyone who is watching you with opinions on how it should be done.
6- Have coaches. Have coaches. Have coaches. It’s that simple. The thought that we need to do it on our own, or can actually see from the outside of ourselves, is an ego-driven (we all have egos, it’s no a “bad” thing), conversation that will keep you stuck. I have invested more in my coaches, mentors and growth than food, clothing or even my home. And it pays itself back more than any other investment you could make.
Regardless of whether or not you are building a business or in the midst of a grief journey,
Trust that it is all unfolding for you. It may not make sense now, and that’s ok.
You are not alone, it is all possible, and you are so worth it.